There’s a moment that happens more often than we like to admit.
You explain something carefully.
You feel confident about what you said.
The other person nods.
And later… they do something completely different.
That moment doesn’t mean you were confusing.
It means something far more specific — and far more fixable.
Most people never hear that:
Lack of clarity isn’t confusion.
It’s defaulting to your dominant thinking style.
Every one of us processes information through an internal filter. We organize ideas, make meaning, and communicate based on how our brain works best. And without realizing it, we speak from that same internal process.
Which means we often assume others are following the same path.
They’re not.
You’re not unclear.
You’re just speaking to one brain.
When your message consistently resonates with some people but not others…
When certain conversations feel effortless while others feel strained…
When you keep explaining the same thing over and over…
That’s not a content problem.
That’s a translation problem.
Different brains listen for different signals.
Some people need structure.
Some need application.
Some need connection.
Some need vision.
When your message favors only one of those — the others quietly disengage. Not because they disagree. But because they don’t fully process what you’re saying.
A quick reflection (don’t overthink this):
Think about a recent moment when someone didn’t “get” you.
- What part did you think was obvious?
- What part did they seem to miss?
- Were you explaining, persuading, or connecting — the way you prefer?
That gap holds the clue.
Clarity isn’t about saying more.
It’s about speaking in a way more than one brain can receive.
Want to see which thinking style you unconsciously prioritize?
Take the 4-Brain Message Score and discover which brains your message naturally speaks to — and which ones may be missing it.
Oh wow, that’s such a good point. Communication gaps are really common. I have one friend who leaves endless messages on my phone. They irritated the heck out of me. By the time I got to the end of the message, I couldn’t remember what she was calling about. She repeated herself and went off on tangents but, despite all of those words, she was actually very vague. I wanted to throw the phone out the window. Other people ask constantly, “Know what I mean?” Um. No, I really don’t. I think that we all must have different thinking styles and are just irritating each other. I generally like the messages to be clear and concise. I prefer longer conversations to be in person, not in machine.