Years ago, I started noticing something with my daughter.
When I gave her instructions, she would sometimes freeze.
She was listening.
She was capable.
But how I said them didn’t match how she processed.
When I slowed down…
shifted tone…
translated instead of repeating…
Everything changed.
Her confidence grew.
She started taking initiative.
She didn’t just listen. She retained.
That was the first time clarity stopped being theoretical for me.
The pattern showed up everywhere
Later, I saw the same thing in classrooms.
Then in teams.
Then with leaders explaining things and getting resistance they couldn’t understand.
The issue was rarely the idea.
It was the mismatch between how the message was delivered and how different brains received it.
I didn’t call it a method.
I wasn’t teaching it.
I just noticed what worked when communication matched cognition.
Fast forward to now
The rooms are different now—speakers, founders, professionals.
But the pattern is the same.
Brilliant insight.
Inspired audience.
Weak result.
Not because the content is bad.
Just… incomplete.
That’s when I finally built language around what had always been intuitive.
I call it the MESSAGE Method™ now.
It exists to help people craft communication that reaches every brain in the room—not just the one that thinks like them.
Even if I never taught the full framework, the shift it came from would still matter.
When communication matches how people think, clarity stops being a talent.
It becomes a bridge.
Want to know which brains your current message already speaks to—and which ones can’t fully hear you yet?
Take the Brain-Friendly Message Score 👉
For better communication, I’ve learned long ago to listen more and talk less. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
I can relate to your daughter! I still find that in the corporate world, since I don’t really fit there, every time I am given something new I freeze. My brain does not process “corporate speak” at all and at first, I can’t even ask questions. I freeze up, then need to allow it to sink in, poke around myself, and only then can I even formulate a question to better understand. It would be nice if people knew how to communicate with someone like me. Everyone else just seems to “get it” right away. I’m glad you found a process that works, Florence, and that you’re sharing it!!
Good message!
I often slow down and reframe when teaching/ sharing information.
My daughter- now in her 50s – is an auditory learner, and her reading teacher noted her comprehension dropped significantly if she read it herself. Dyslexia and neurospicy brains make it more interesting 🤔….
Thanks for this “light bulb” moment. We found out when my child was 25 that he was marginally on the spectrum. Not one person, teacher, counselor, or advisor in all his years in school ever mention that we may want to look at that. However, after that diagnosis I discovered a better way to communicate with him. I had to ask him to do things in a very different way. It made me realize all of those years of asking things of him I was asking in the wrong way. It has made me realize that I need to change the way I present things. I still have not found the exact niche but I think I am slowly getting there. 🙂